February 7 - More Bangkok Bonanza

As day three is coming to an end, I'm faced with two questions that have been lingering in the back of my mind all this time. First of all, is three weeks enough time to experience a fair share of both Thailand and Cambodia? As always, there's a unsightly swarm of heavily-loaded backpackers doing the long term trek of all of Southeast Asia, including India, Indonesia, and wherever else it's cheap and warm (take note: don't go to Seoul right now). I have only two weeks here in Thailand and one week in Cambodia, but feel like I should have come here much sooner into my three month leave of work. The second question is, why are all the Thais so freaking happy? Granted this a bloated overstatement, I've already met scores of Thais, who on the average, are just curious and like to talk. Naturally I've been keeping my guard up and my packstraps tight after having been through my share of gringo traps and having heard much worse, but in many of my interactions with Thais I've been delightfully surprised. Sitting outside of a Buddhist temple this afternoon, I talked with a lounging Thai who has lived most of his life in London and had returned to look after his aging father. He told me Thailand is known as "the land of smiles". "You smile at someone, they smile back, it's simple. You try that in London and they'll think you're crazy." There's not as high a market demand for smiles as for say fruit and fish, but this is an uncommodified something we should all look into importing.

Yeah, ok, so there was this one tourist trap that I voluntarily stepped into, strictly for field research, I assure you. My pal Young is still working off yesterday's rum baskets at the guesthouse, so I headed off to the royal palace (Thailand is still a kingdom, keep in mind) to take in some visual pleasures. While walking around the massive public square in front of the palace, "friendly" old men come up, ask where I from, etc., then tell me ALL about the massive Buddha statues around the city, and I should take a tour of the three. They don't ask for money, and show no interest in selling me something. They help track down a Ttuk Ttuk (covered motorbike) driver and show him the little map they drew for me, then "negotiate" for an hour's tour for only 40 baht. Well, not in Bangkok do you get deals like that, and I knew something was up when the driver didn't put up any fuss at all for the low bid. I found later that everything the old fellas described about the Buddhas is true, and the driver wheeled me off to the first of the three temples. The whole ride, I kept thinking through possibilities (how can this guy fleece me) and could only think of one - Young told me it has happened to him several times where the driver pretends to have misheard the location and takes him to a far off place of similar name where there are no Ttuk Ttuk's to speak of except the driver who hauled him out there, then asking for a pricey fare to the intended destination. Well, that didn't happen, though I was getting nervous that we were straying so far from the starting point. I got to have a look at a massive gold-surfaced Buddha and share a couple laughs with a young monk who took me inside. I was listing the numerous reasons why I could never become a pious monk like him, and in the act made myself look like I'm addicted to booze and women. Anyway, he saw my driver getting impatient outside the temple and whispered that the guy is up to no good and wants to take me shopping. The monk was right, of course, and as I climbed back into the Ttuk Ttuk, the driver told me we should stop by a famous and cheap tailor which is conveniently on the way to the second Buddha. I refused, so he counters that he needs gas, and so we'll stop by the gas station, and I can "have a look" in a tour agency for a few minutes. I knew he didn't need gas, but I wanted to get on with the show, so we went... straight to the tour agency (hmm.. forgot about the gas!). I told him I didn't need a single thing inside the agency, and refused to go in. He eventually got so frustrated that he just told me to leave. Fortunately, the scherade ended in an area about 20 mins walk from the Banglamphu neighborhood, where all the whiteys are, and I had had a free tour of the first Buddha (of many).

The guesthouse neighborhood cracks me up. There are more farangs (whiteys) than there are Thais, many of them weighing more in dreads and facial hair than clothing. Nevertheless, there's four, maybe five.. hundred drinking holes to hit up, most of which are just carpets draped over a sidestreet. My favorite makeshift bar is actually a gas station by day and a tropical-themed hotspot by night. We sat on short bamboo tables next to a gas pump and began to get anxious as the server lit the candle for our table and Thais took drags from their cigarettes all around us (thought chain: gas, flame, boom). The only sparks that night were in the eyes of a young Thai girl, who, sitting at a nearby table with her friends, wrote a cute little note to me that said something like "I would like to get to know you better and if so please come over and sit with us." Young and I, intending on heading home early after that bucket of rum, ended up back on the carpet-bar street, going bucket for bucket until 5am with the Thai girls, their Swedish friends, and practically the UN of foreigners. Clearly, making friends here is a heck of a lot easier than getting a glimpse of the Buddhas.

Photo: me (American), Young (Korean), Enouv (Israel), and Bai (Thai)